Perspective

Tonight was one I don't want to forget.  Ever.

In case you've been living under a rock, I'm pregnant.  And in the off-chance you didn't know me during the last two pregnancies...I get sick.  Like, really really sick.  And, I have to preface this story with that, because I may or may not gross you out.

This afternoon, like every other afternoon, I knew I was going to throw up.  Sometimes (like one out of one thousand), the feeling will pass.  I knew I wouldn't be so lucky today.  It was coming, and I couldn't do anything about it.

It's Seth's "late" day, so it was just me and the kids.  As I am currently super-mom, we had frozen pizza.  I usually avoid pizza.  (the sauce is red, red = burning vomit).  Avoid burning vomit.  But, let's be honest, Totino's doesn't exactly layer on the sauce.  I took my chances.

Post-dinner was bath-time. 

Then story-time.  Definitely not feeling good, I envisioned myself finishing the stories, saying prayers, tucking the kids in bed and escaping to the kitchen sink.  All alone.  Just me, the sink, cold water running, and the disposal on.

I had Hazel tucked in, and holding Averett as he waved goodnight.  He's a mini linebacker, and the weight on my stomach was too much.  I quickly set him down and dashed to the bathroom.  Just making it to the toilet.  (FYI: I do NOT throw up in the toilet, garbage disposals are my best friend).  But, alas, I found myself kneeling in front of the toilet, saying goodbye to the two baby slices of pizza. 

If this is too much information, this is actually where it gets good.

I am pretty sure the kids were in the bathroom, with me, before I even made it to my knees.  Hazel was standing to my left, and Averett to my right.  They stared at me concerned for a minute or two, I closed my eyes, and instantly felt a little three year old hand rubbing my back, and in that same moment I heard Averett cough.  I looked up to see him pretend-coughing and spitting into the toilet.  Both doing their best, in their own ways, to comfort me.

I pray every night for the strength to be "mom".  I am not asking for super-powers, our house is not as clean as I'd like, and the ironing pile is taller than me, our meals are less than amazing, I feel completely overwhelmed 97% of the time, and Seth has never once complained.  But I still need to be a mom, the kids have places they need to be, meals to eat, and they just need me.  So I pray for the energy to be "mom".

Tonight I am grateful that I had the perspective I did.  Instead of pushing the kids out of the bathroom, it was comforting having them there with me.  And as slightly disturbing as it was to watch Averett cough and spit, it was one of the cutest things I've experienced in the presence of a toilet.  Annnd, with sweet Hazel's hand patting my back, as she told me it would be okay, I realized that as crazy and head-strong as she can be, she really has the sweetest, tender, little feelings. 

I am also so glad I could see the humor in the whole situation, because as miserable as it is to throw up - it is pretty funny to watch your baby do his best impression of your heaving.

Here's to 6 more months.